Break free from the past. Do not let anything weigh you down. Instead, start each day anew.  
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Be light on your feet.  Be carefree like a child.  Be happy.

We have been given the gift of time that marches ever forward towards a new day.  So rejoice in each sunrise, and make the most of every day. Go forth with an open heart, an open mind, and a renewed sense of hope for a better future.

We live in dynamic world. Things are changing around us at all times. Nothing remains the same forever, except almighty God.

In order to maintain some sense of control in our lives, we tend to like things that are constant and predictable. We find feelings of safety in patterns and routines. We like to talk about “averages” and “the norms” in life. It brings us comfort knowing what to expect in the near future.

But just as the world we live in is always changing, so are our individual lives. Almost everything about our lives is variable. For instance:

The amount of sleep we get on any given night
The amount of food we eat in a given day
The amount of physical activity in given day
The amount of money we earn in a given year
How we use our time in a given period
The number and size of goals we may accomplish in a given year
...And the list goes on and on.

Instead of focusing on the norms in life, take time to appreciate the variability that surrounds us in all aspects. Variability brings highs and lows, some of which are much more rare and extreme than the averages that we grow accustom to. Such extreme events are often called “black swans” because they are so rare. But it is in these extreme events that some truly miraculous things can happen. They may not happen often, but when they do, they are a force to be reckoned with.

So embrace the dynamic nature of life and the world in which we live. Celebrate the extreme events, and make the most of them. Know that change is good, and change is what keeps us forever young in the journey of life.

Sometimes people get angry when you try to help them. They may fight you and refuse your help. Sometimes, they will do the opposite of what you suggest out of spite. Do not take such responses from others personally. It is simply their human ego trying to stay "in control".

Yes, we humans sometimes try to convince ourselves that what we are doing is right, when deep down inside we know it is really wrong. We then attempt to prove to others that we know what is best, that we are strong, and that we do not need help. But if we are lucky, a good friend will kindly and persistently point out the truth to us and help us get back on the right track.

So be that friend to others. Be kind and persistent, even in the face of anger. Most importantly though, be ever so cognizant that a friend may be trying to help you.

A "failure" is nothing more than a different outcome than what you or someone else was expecting. The outcome is not necessarily right or wrong, but simply different. In the big picture of life, any given outcome at any given moment is rather trivial if you really think about it.

If you have your priorities straight, you can move past whatever momentary failures you encounter. In fact, a "failure" can actually be a positive experience as long as you learn from it and use the knowledge gained to improve your life moving forward. Even better, use what you have learned to help others improve their lives.

Reconsider how you judge yourself and those around you for not meeting arbitrary expectations. Keep in mind that alternate outcomes may in fact be blessings in disguise. Be determined to turn so called "failures" into long term success stories.

Learn to see and accept things for what they truly are. Focus on the facts. Take the emotion out of things.

A situation is what it is. If you want to more quickly overcome it in a positive manner, you first have to be objective. By objective, it is meant you must remove your feelings and opinions. You have to come to peace with the simple facts.

As you get better at this, you will start seeing possible solutions that you never did before. You will learn to be happy and centered no matter what the situation at hand. Your current situation is just one of billions of situations that occur in the world each day. The world will not stop turning just because it is a situation that momentarily affects you. Life will go on, someway, somehow.

Those who master objectivity come to view situations from afar, and in no way fear the situations or the facts. Such masters have an aura of peace around them. Others can often sense this peace and their calming presence.

1. Accept the facts and do not fear them
2. Detach emotionally to the greatest extent possible
3. Determine if it is in your best interest to take positive action, or just let it be
4. Do not let a situation overtake your life. Be happy no matter what. Choose your parallel reality (read more from my previous post on this subject by clicking the highlighted link).

Sometimes things grab you in life, and sometimes you grab them. Either way, you choose your own reality by deciding what you focus on.

In any given set of circumstances, a myriad of different realities exist in parallel. Which reality will you choose?

• Will you choose to focus on happiness or despair?
• Will you choose to spend time with people who inspire you, or people that bring you down?
• Will you choose to let go and be free, or be trapped by your past?
• Will you choose to take positive action, or be frustrated and mad?
• Will you choose inner peace, or feeling overwhelmed?
• Will you choose to find the seed of greater opportunity in an unfortunate situation, or will let yourself drown in negativity?

Cultivate a constant awareness of your state of mind. Always be on guard against the negative. Stand ready to focus on the positive.

Remember, a positive parallel reality exists in every situation, and you get to choose which reality is yours.

Whether positive or negative, we are heavily influenced by our immediate surroundings. We are complex, dynamic creatures that often mirror actions, thoughts, and emotions. Have you ever noticed how you behave around a certain group of people, and then behave differently around another group just minutes later? Have you ever noticed how you feel inspired in certain situations, but saddened in others? Have you ever had a specific smell or certain song evoke a strong emotion?

Our senses are continuously sending signals to our brain to process. What we see, touch, hear, taste, and smell have a direct affect on how we think and feel. Especially influential are the people that surround and interact with us. Our neural pathways are constantly firing to transmit data and adjust our state of being accordingly. Sometimes we are conscious of these changes to our state of being, while at other times the changes go unnoticed. Though be sure, changes are always taking place.

By grace, we have been endowed with logic and intuition. If we harness these powers, we can become more aware of how a certain atmosphere is influencing us. And if we have awareness, we can be proactive in either embracing the atmosphere if it is positive, or guarding against the atmosphere if it is negative.

We have many choices in life, and the atmospheres that we choose to inhabit will be some of the most important choices we make. They will affect our health, happiness, and overall well being. Hence, maintain constant awareness of your immediate surroundings, and especially the people therein. Empower yourself to make changes as needed to be your best self. Choose to reside in your optimal personal atmosphere (YOPA).

Remove everything. Start with nothing. Then add back in only the essential components.

Simplicity is the natural power of this strategy. The application of the strategy does not have to be complicated in any sense. All we need to do is take a deep breath, re-center mentally, and evaluate a situation in the simplest of terms possible.

Step 1. Remove everything. No matter what you are working on, just take everything away. Do not sort things or over complicate this step. Simply remove without thought or analysis.

Step 2. Start with nothing. After executing Step 1, you should logically arrive at Step 2. However, it is imperative that you get to nothing before proceeding any further. A state of nothingness is key.

Step 3. Add back in only the essential components. Since you are starting with nothing, you can now more easily identify what is important and what is not. When deciding what to add back in, remember less is more.

This strategy can be applied to almost everything in life....to do lists, cluttered closets, daily routines, relationships, problem solving, and the list goes on. Repeated application of the strategy typically yields better results, not to mention a sense of inner peace and control. Suddenly, your personal universe will begin to feel orderly again.

Move in a direction that gives you ever increasing personal freedom...

The freedom to be
The freedom to think
The freedom to aspire
The freedom to act
The freedom to become
The freedom to do what you want, when you want, where you want, and with who you want

Indulgence in such freedom must be balanced with personal obligations, service to others, and the needs of society. However, be encouraged that one can indeed enjoy a large degree of freedom while still being a responsible and helpful person.

Much to the surprise of the masses, ever increasing personal freedom is a product of repeated introspection and personal discipline. As one grows in wisdom, one learns that rules in life are important. The right rules followed with discipline can in fact be extremely liberating.

Accordingly, evaluate the degree of personal freedom in your own life. Then move forward with discipline and confidence in a direction that gives you more. You will find a wellspring of happiness and inspiration along the way.

The formula for enjoying much success and happiness in life...help other people! Yes, it is that simple. No matter what your situation or position in life, you can improve it by just helping other people. The more the better, but all it takes to start is one.

Make it your mission to serve other people...your family, your coworkers, your customers, your constituents, your team, and the list goes on. It will benefit both you and them in the long run. No doubt, there will be times when your good deeds will be misjudged and refuted, but carry on. Over time, good intentions will consistently triumph over ill will.

Combine a positive attitude of sincere service with persistence, and success will surely be found.

Albert Einstein is generally credited with the phrase that goes something like "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." This very true statement applies to almost every aspect of life. If we keep doing something the same way, chances are we are going to get the same results. Hence, if we are not satisfied with the results we are getting, we need to change the way we do things.

I find it very useful to apply such "do things different" logic to solving problems. Instead of looking at a particular situation like normal, I try to take an opposing view. In other words, I flip it upside down or go about it in the opposite way that it has been done to date. By starting from an opposing vantage point, I question the norm and more rapidly find a solution that yields the results I desire.

The first question I typically ask myself is, "Why am I doing "this or that" in the first place?" Is "this or that" necessary? Does "this or that" offer a benefit to me or others that is important enough for me to spend time on improving it?

If the subject matter is worth my time and effort, then I proceed with identifying what the "normal" mode of operation is. Then I think of the exact opposite approach. Would the exact opposite approach yield better results? If not, I keep adjusting my approach from there. In time, I eventually find a better way and better results.

Try this approach on any aspect of life you endeavor to improve...relationships, finances, health and fitness, work, hobbies, unrealized aspirations, and the list goes on and on. In summary, do the following to achieve better results:

1. Why is this important, and is it truly worthy of my efforts?
2. What has been the normal approach until now?
3. Flip it, and try the opposite approach
4. Adjust your approach as necessary
   

The power of words...

Words are indeed very powerful. Words can...
Uplift
Support
Hurt
Convey
Reinforce
....and the list goes on and on

Your word choices reinforce your thoughts, whether the words are true or false, positive or negative. Your thoughts directly influence your emotions and behaviors. Hence, the words you choose to speak, write, hear, and read will most definitely impact your life.

So why use debilitating words or allow them into your life? Instead, choose to speak, write, hear, and read only positive words that uplift yourself and others.

You have the power to choose the words you use. And you also have the power to choose the words you allow into your head. Be very selective, and choose your words wisely.

Humans are truly special beings. We have the awesome ability to create all kinds of things. We can think of something, envision it, plan it, and take action. With repeated effort, the figment of our imagination comes to be.

And to top it off, we are simply born with this creative ability. We did not have to work for it. We did not have to buy it. We did not have to get a degree in order to use it. Instead, our creativity is a God-given, innate ability harboring inside all of us.

No matter what it is you want to create in life, there are four general steps in the process (TEPA):

1. Think
2. Envision
3. Plan
4. Act

The first step is to take time to think about something. Everything begins with a thought, so we must therefore hold our thoughts sacred. Take time to nourish your thoughts and capture them before they move on.

The second step is to envision your thoughts. Develop a clear picture in your mind what your desired outcome looks like. Even go beyond and imagine what it feels like, smells like, tastes like, etc. The more detail you can add to your vision, the better.

The third step is to develop a plan of action. Start talking about it, writing about it, drawing it, conceptualizing it, etc. Personally, the process of manually putting ink to paper is the most useful for me. Holding an ink pen in my hand, drawing, outlining, and writing is when my visions begin to magically come to life. Once they are on paper, I know in my heart they are achievable with the proper action and persistence.

The fourth step is sometimes the hardest, but it is absolutely fundamental to making your thoughts become a reality. You must take action! Yes, you must take persistent, positive action according to your plan.

If you consistently repeat these four steps, you will create an abundant and exciting life for yourself. You will undoubtedly encounter obstacles along the way, but unwavering persistence will eventually cause the flowers of creativity to bloom into being. It is your gift to create what flowers you desire in your life.

Successful people learn how to peacefully endure adverse conditions. This ability is a conditioned state of mind that must be practiced and acquired over time. One must learn to accept and be at peace with failure, criticism, rejection, and imperfection. Patient endurance brings wisdom, strength of mind, and strength of spirit.

Learn to recognize the array of feelings associated with adversarial conditions and conquer them with rational thinking. First and foremost, adverse conditions are temporary in nature. Objectively step back, observe, and see adversarial situations for what they are; simply temporary conditions that will not continue forever. They are like storm clouds in the sky. Winds may blow, thunder may roar, and lightning may strike, but eventually sunshine will appear after the storm blows through.

Second, such conditions are not nearly as influential on your overall life as you may momentarily think. If not controlled, our minds tend to ruminate and make much more of a situation than what the situation truly deserves. In the grand scheme of life, chances are whatever you are enduring now will be insignificant in the future. You will live to see another day and be stronger for it.

Third, such obstacles are necessary stepping stones in your quest for growth and success. There is not one single successful person in history who has been fortunate enough to avoid obstacles and adversaries. Even Jesus Christ had to endure enemies, naysayers, and tough conditions during his time on earth. So do not be surprised by adversarial situations in your life. Come to view each one as a learning experience that will make you a better person moving forward.

In summary, learning to find inner peace during challenging times is the hallmark of true leader, and a secret to long term success. Extinguishing negative thoughts and emotions is a skill that must be honed deliberately over time. Never give up, and remember that true peace lies within each of us. It is up to us to seek it out, remember how to return to it, and rejoice in it each and every time we do.

I often get asked by people, "What should I wear?" Unless the event host has explicitly stated a dress code, my steadfast rule is to always wear what makes you comfortable. Each occasion may call for a different set of clothes, but follow your instincts as to what will make you feel most comfortable in the particular setting.

However, my second and most important rule is to wear what makes you feel confident. If you feel both comfortable and confident in what you are wearing, you will be more outgoing and make the most out of an occasion. Everyone aspires to a certain self image, and your outfit needs to fit that image. Otherwise, you will not "show up" to an event like you should.

If you are wavering back and forth on what to wear, dress one level up from what you are thinking. This guideline has served me well over the years in most every occasion. Personally, I would rather be slightly over dressed than under dressed. If I arrive and feel over dressed, it is easy to remove a tie, take off a coat, unstuck a shirt, etc. if I need to.

Clothes do not make a person by any means. Though, right or wrong, people are judgmental creatures and they often "judge a book by its cover". This goes for judging others and ourselves. So the best approach is to dress comfortably and confidently, while letting your genuine personality shine through.

After college, I began reading non-fiction books on a regular basis. I wanted to learn anything and everything about happiness and success in life. I worked hard and earned a steady income, so I had the money to purchase book after book. Since I owned the books, I figured I could highlight and mark them up as I desired. Books then became like "work books" to me, and I began using them to their fullest potential.
After decades of devoted reading, following is the advice I offer to others for getting the most out of a book:
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• Keep a pen in hand while reading
• Underline, circle, or otherwise mark important concepts
• If an entire paragraph is important, mark a vertical line next to it
• Write notes in the margins
• Keep a note card or paper in the book to identify key pages, concepts, etc. The notecard will serve as a quick guide when you refer back to the book in the future.
• Once you complete the book, immediately thumb back through it and review your marked passages and notes
• After some time has passed, if the book is important to you, go back and review it again. This habit is crucial for really absorbing and incorporating the knowledge into your life. And as an added bonus, I always find a new nugget of information that I missed before, each and every I refer back to a book.
• Share what you learned from the book with friends and colleagues. Verbally summarizing key concepts will help you memorize and incorporate them into your life.
• Keep your books in a special place where you will see them on a regular basis. I am often reminded of a key concept just by seeing the spine of a book on my shelf.
• When it comes to magazine articles or other writings that catch your attention, tear out pages, make a photocopy, or jot down a quick summary on a notecard. Keep such items in a folder with your books for easy reference

A well populated book shelf is like a medicine cabinet for the mind. As problems arise in life or inspiration is needed, a quick look to the book shelf can be just what the doctor ordered. I encourage you to start populating your personal book shelf today, no matter what your age or condition. Your life will be much richer and happier as a result.

It is imperative that you make time to think. Yes...be deliberate, and set aside quiet time periods on a regular basis so you can simply think. Good thinking is key for improving your life and being your best self.

Making time to think leads to good thoughts. Good thoughts lead to positive actions. Positive actions lead to a great life!

When conducting a thinking session, there are no rules per se. You can focus on a specific topic, or think about anything and everything that comes to mind. Some sessions may be just a few minutes, while other sessions may be hours on end. You may find time to think while driving, sitting on your back porch, walking at the beach, while having your morning coffee, or just about anytime and anywhere you can find peace and inspiration. Each session will be different, but developing the habit of thinking is crucial.

Think about what is going good in your life. Think about what is going bad. Think about who/what you want to be, where you want to go, and how you would like to get there. Dream of the future. Reflect back and learn from the past. Be present in the moment. But foremost, know that you have the innate ability to think and therefore create your own unique life experience.

I find it useful to have a pen and paper with me during my thinking sessions. I write sentences, I jot down a few words, I make diagrams, I underline, I use exclamation points, and I capture whatever else flows out of me via ink. Other times, I capture my thoughts by typing on my iPad or computer. Sometimes though, I deliberately do not capture my thoughts, and instead let them float in and out freely. I find that the best ideas stick with me for a bit, which I can then write down at a later time. What can you do to make your thinking sessions a productive and enjoyable event?

To summarize...all great things begin with a thought, so you have to get your thinking right first. Develop the habit of quiet contemplation and use it as a foundation for ever improving your life.

Some things are easy in moderation. Other things, not so much. And to a great extent, the degree to which any one thing can be consumed in moderation varies from person to person. So you have to ask yourself, for each and every thing that is having an adverse impact on your life, is "moderation" really working? Chances are, what you think you are doing in moderation, you are actually doing in excess. Hence, it is probably something that you need to stop doing completely.

That being said, a similar self examination should be carried out for every thing that is having a positive impact on your life. Would your life be even better if you threw caution to the wind and consumed more of such things? For instance, what if you went for more walks, read more books, ate more vegetables, or spent more time with those important to you?

Please consider this advice, in moderation of course....

"Never stop moving!" A true motto for living life to the fullest. Keep moving...

• For physical fitness
• For mental wellbeing
• For spiritual growth
• For longevity
• For happiness
• To serve others
• To improve, to do, and to be more
• To learn
• For just about everything in life...

Sometimes you must push forwards. Sometimes you must move backwards or sideways. Sometimes over or under. But always be steadily moving towards your long term goals, a better future, and a better you. For yourself, and for the sake of others, never stop moving!

Do you yearn to be happier and more productive in all that you do? The good news is, you have the power to do it. So how do you do it? Well there are many components in life that make one happy and productive, but one of the best steps you can take is to identify and routinely create YOPA... Your Optimal Personal Atmosphere.

Everyone's YOPA is a little different, but atmosphere is everything when it comes to happiness and productivity. And depending on what you want to specifically accomplish, your YOPA will vary. For instance, if need to study for an exam, you may want to get into some comfy clothes, turn on some Mozart, and sit down at a quiet desk at the library. Or if you want to relax, you may want to wear some shorts and flip flops, sit by the beach, get a cold drink, and turn on some Jimmy Buffet. If you want to power through your email inbox or some office paperwork, you may want to close your office door, grab a hot cup of joe, and turn on some Van Halen (...Okay, maybe this is just me...). If you want to pray and contemplate, a quiet sanctuary is the place to be.

Thomas Edison was famous for his workshops where he created his optimal atmosphere for experiments and inventions. It is said Mark Twain would escape to his sister-in-law's farm to work on some of his most famous writings. And some surgeons routinely play music in the operating room during the most delicate of surgeries.

Requisites for creating YOPA are....
- the atmosphere helps you focus on the task/goal/occasion at hand
- the atmosphere makes you feel safe, generally happy, and in control
- the atmosphere is free from undesired noise/distractions/interruptions/visitors
- the atmosphere is motivating and inspiring
- have the tools you need at hand

So what are you waiting for? Start to think about your optimal personal atmosphere(s), work on creating it each and every day, and leverage it to do more, to be more, and to be happy. As the famous song by the Village People goes, "It's fun to stay in your Y-O-P-A, it's fun to stay in your Y-O-P-A...." Now put your hands in the air people...!

"If you could put anything on a billboard, what would it be?" Tim Ferris often asks his guests some form of this question in his popular podcast. Tim's questioning of others has caused me to question myself. After much thought, my billboard would read...

FORGIVE[N]

...In big, bold letters against a simple back ground.

Why? Because forgiveness is truly powerful and transformational. When we forgive someone or some thing, we set ourselves free from anger and despair. We stop sabotaging ourselves internally, and we find peace. With a foundation of internal peace, we can then build ever increasing amounts of love and happiness into our lives.

To receive forgiveness from someone else is a gift that evokes great emotions. We are human and will therefore wrong others from time to time, whether intentional or unintentional. When we are forgiven by the other person, we again are set free emotionally, and often feel a great sense of relief from the internal chains of guilt and remorse. We are often overcome with strong feelings of thankfulness. Even more powerful than receiving forgiveness from another human being is asking for, and receiving, the grace of forgiveness from God.

If we want to live our lives to the fullest with the greatest degrees of peace, love, and happiness, we must learn to harness the power of forgiveness. Forgive others with humility and kindness, and freely accept the gift of forgiveness from others and from God. Simply forgive and be forgiven.

You are the captain of your own ship of life. You steer your life in ways that ultimately lead to a certain destination. A slight left turn here, a big right turn there, easy on the throttle now, then hard on the throttle at the right time...all of these maneuvers help you reach a given destination at a given time in life.

None of us has a magic wand that enables us to have everything we desire right here and now. However, we all have will power that can be harnessed and put to work along with dreams, visions, and goals. With sustained persistence, a clear vision, a positive attitude, we can eventually have the majority of what we want in life. Not absolutely everything, mind you, but certainly our fair share of health, happiness, and prosperity.

So learn to weather the temporary rough seas in life, and know that they are a nothing but a natural part of steering your ship to your desired destination. Have a clear vision of where you are going, be persistent, and remain positive and on course. Remember, you are The Captain.

One's life can be likened to an atom. An atom has a center, or nucleus, containing neutral and positively charged particles. Orbiting around the nucleus are electrons that are negatively charged. The electrons naturally balance the particles of the nucleus to make up a unique atom.

At the center of each of our unique lives is our inner self, our sole, our personal identity, our being, our center of consciousness. Surrounding our inner selves are the external facets of life such as our bodies, our actions and deeds, our work and vocations, our family and personal relationships, and so on. These facets of life are like electrons to an atom, and need to work in a way that bring harmony, peace, and balance.

The intuition of our soles guides us to know if the external facets of life are indeed properly balanced. We can feel if things are going right or going wrong in our lives. But, it is up to us to take charge (pun intended) and create the proper balance.

So evaluate the many facets of your life, heed your intuition, and make the necessary changes that will bring peace to your inner soul. You have a innate right to feel balanced, happy, and in control of your life. You need make "you" feel like the "real you" inside.

It has taken me 41 plus years to begin to fathom the concept of being at peace with a present situation even though it may not up to my ideals. I feel like I am finally starting to wrap my head around this important concept, with the key word being "starting"!

It is important to self esteem, success, and achievement to develop and hold yourself accountable to lofty ideals. Goals and high standards are important, especially since they drive you to be an ever better person.

However, life will not always be in perfect sync with your personal ideals. It is a fact of life. Sometimes life is messy, disfunctional, and generally chaotic. Such imperfect episodes of life are only temporary, and will eventually subside to a more peaceful and idealistic state. We must simply acknowledge the present and let it be. Be at peace with the natural state of "the here and now", without giving up hope and eagerness towards a more idealistic future.

During periods of personal strife, it is important to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Take time to look around and acknowledge the little things in life that are going right. These "little things" can bring joy and contentment. Give thanks to God for what you do have, and bask in the divine providence that you have been blessed with. Celebrate that you have made it this far in life, and have gained the knowledge to know that things are not necessarily always perfect. Rejoice that you have hope for a better future and a burning inner desire to charge down the road of continual improvement.